spontaneous

Sort of.

I never really put a lot of thought into New Years’ resolutions before. I never succeed in them because I forget them so easily. XD I’m also a procrastinator. But considering I’m almost an adult and I want to start to change a lot of my flaws for the better, I think this is a good way to start.

In 2009, I aim to:

1. Lose at least 10-15 pounds by exercising and eating healthier. I’m not overweight, but I’m on the fence. XD
2. Put more effort into my appearance. (I’m a girl, but I hate makeup and doing my hair. SIGH.)
3. Try really hard to get to know my crush better.
4. Get a job.
5. Finish the NvP script!
6. Finish The Ryan Story!
7. Finish The Manigoldo!
8. Be more patient. Learn to control my emotions better. Correct many of my character flaws.
9. Draw more.

I have no idea if I will be able to accomplish these things, but I will try. I dread leaving childhood and going off to the land of responsibility AKA college/adulthood (though not in all cases, lol.) I want to challenge myself as well. I am tired of being so lazy when it comes to finishing projects and goals. I want to make myself better and I think that that’s a goal worth striving for.

What about you?

XD Merry Christmas and happy holidays. I have much to be thankful for this past Christmas (with few disappointments but yah.) I hope everyone has a wonderful season.

I got an Xbox 360! Whoo! Finally, I could finish Halo 3. Of course, after I finish it, the Xbox started to act wonky so now I’m paranoid. :\ If its screwed up after only four days…Jesus! That’s so stupid. Luckily we have the warranty, so if it does die, my dad won’t be out two hundred bucks. ><

Speaking of money, I just cashed in a ton of coins I had in my room. Sixty-two dollars! Whoo! All that’s going to Ninjas vs. Pirates. :3 *sigh* I really need a job.

If anyone needs a website made at very cheap prices, talk to me. Plz.

In other news, Dana finally got her novel self-published on Lulu. Go check it out here: http://lulu.com/foxfire12

I need to get my wisdom teeth out. Fail. All four of them if I want to spare myself future pain. AUGH. I hate teeth-issues. They creep me out.

I’m still working hard at The Manigoldo, but now I have to worry about finishing the NvP script as well as The Ryan Story comic for Mary before we graduate. NvP is due sometime in spring, but at least TRS is a quarter of the way drawn…XD I’m so slow! I really have to get a move on.

Darren Hayes is amazing, btw. Thank you, Dana.

I WANT CHOCOLATE kthxbai.

I just went on Temple’s website for applicants and

I GOT IN!

I am so happy right now, I think I’m having an anxiety attack. XD This has been such a huge weight on my mind for the longest time and now that I’m in, I’m all in a tizy.

Also, I have all 94s and 95s in school, including Pre-Calc.

I believe that good luck and bad luck come in cycles and probably, something bad will happen in the future, but for now, I feel like the luckiest kid ever. Ah, the little things in life that give you pleasure…

TIME TO PARTY. Well, after I do that essay for AP. And study for a math quiz. LOL. XD Oh, universe, you always find a way to get back at my happiness. Oh well.

Have a nice day!

OMFG I just went to the back to school night tonight. D: It took forever. Ugh.

Andddd I have a French and a Media test tomorrow. Guess who hasn’t studied? D: FAIL.

D: OMFGIMGONNADIE

Temple got all my info for the application, so now they’re reviewing. Oh mannnnn. I am freaking out now. I have to get in. My mom will have a heart attack otherwise. I’ll have a heart attack otherwise.

Dad’s going to talk to his friends in admission. X_x Not that that will do much, but at least they’ll know this time that he has a kid applying. When Vick applied, apparently they didn’t know? Wtf?

AHHHHHHH. Ahhh.

I think if once I get into Temple/college in general, I’m going to make a new blog, one that’s focused completely on schooling and I guess “adult life.” I don’t know.

I’m so afraid to grow up but at the same time, I just want out.

On the bright side, Knight Rider starts tonight. :3 YAYYYYYY!

I just posted, but I wanted to write this into another entry simply because its so long. Rant warning ahead, but I’ll do my best to tone it down.

Two days ago, my mother and I had a blow out. We always argue. We’re just so different, especially when it comes to beliefs, such as religion. My mother is a hardcore Catholic. Every time my sister and I don’t go to mass with her, she says she’s failed as a parent because she didn’t give us a strong Catholic background or something. Ridiculous. I know more about the Catholic faith than I ever wanted to.

In my own hindsight, I can see that the reason I changed is because my mother was too good of a Catholic mother. She forced belief down my throat and I guess my stomach didn’t agree with it. She doesn’t agree with this, but I think the reason I can’t accept what she believes is because she overdid her duty to raise me Catholic.

In any case, two days ago, we’re heading out to school. It’s just me and mom now cause Vick goes to CCP. I had just gotten a book from the store, Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon by Daniel C. Dennett (I love this book!), and my mom naturally did not approve of it. As we calmly disputed the messages depicted by the book, I accidently said something: “In all honesty mom, I’m really not Catholic anymore, so it doesn’t matter.”

WELL. You could have thought I just said “f-you, mom” and ran off to join a cult. She FLIPPED out. She’s freaked before, but I have NEVER seen her so…crazy. She looked and acted demented. She told me not to say that, that I’d always be Catholic and then…dear god, I thought she was going to drive us into a tree just to prove her point. She became in that moment the exact kind of ZEALOT that I absolutely hate.

I lost faith in the Catholic/Christian faith a long time ago. I couldn’t believe what they told me half of the time and now, I can’t accept that mortal men (women? in the church? ha!) in flowing robes can dictate to me how to live a good life. Who are they to judge my soul, when they don’t even know me? Hell, no one ever truly knows themselves. Their god is a constantly self-contradicting figure. To go on saying I’m Catholic when I think these thoughts would not only be a lie to the world and myself, but also to any god if it/he/she/they do/es exist.

I could go on and on about why I think they and most of the larger religions, like Judaism and Islam, are messed up, but hey, I’m not the one trying to force belief down people’s throat.

We ended up getting to school but we screamed the whole way. I tried to get her to just DROP it, but dear god, she wouldn’t. She started crying and getting all hysterical, saying that, quote-unquote, “you won’t be prepared for the shit dropped on you later in life if you don’t have faith!”

Um. EXCUSE ME? I have faith. Not in your god, but that certainly does not mean I don’t have a faith at all. I believe in a power you could call a god, but it’s not the Christian god. That does NOT make me wrong. To assume that I won’t be able to fend for myself or handle crisis’s just because I don’t pray the rosary is not only arrogant, its absolutely RETARDED.

We’ve pretty much calmed down now and everything is relatively cool. But I’m still ticked off. People like my mother when she’s like this piss me off. People, who despite pretending to be “good people,” who become zealot a-holes when their faith is questioned. Some people need to have a solid, structured religion, but not me. The only person I can even pretend to have control over is myself.

As my darling character Miranda says in my novel, The Manigoldo, about this sort of thing, I repeat:

“I refuse to do certain things you think are acceptable, but I do accept some of those things. I…choose for myself what is acceptable. I don’t choose for you.” (chapter 41)

And to clear up some things in case you were curious:

I AM NOT CATHOLIC.

I AM NOT ATHEISTIC.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN RELIGION.

BUT.

I AM SPIRITUAL; BUT THE ONLY SPIRITUAL AUTHORITY I ANSWER TO IS MY HEART AND MIND, NOT A BUREAUCRACY.

So there, mom. So there, church.

D:<

I must love to hurt myself. No, really. I think that’s a fact I’ve got to face. I fear pain usually, but now that I look at my schedule of events for the next year closely, I realized that I must be subconsciously masochistic. Why, you ask?

Well, for starters, I’ve signed up for the SAT. Again. And now, I’m going to go apply for the ACT as well. And I just applied to Temple U. Hopefully I have more luck than Vick did.

Then, I promised Mary for the umpteenth time that I will finish The Ryan Story (a comic of mine/ours) for her as a graduation present. I’ve cut it down farther than I ever had before and its still 131 pages. It’s completely written and now all I have to do is draw/ink/tone it. Lovely. I’ve done about eight pages so far. Only 123 pages to go. Plus the cover. Yeah.

Just the other day, I also came up with the brilliant idea of making a Ninjas vs. Pirates webseries with my friends. It sounds epic. I just need a camera. And a lot more time to do this.

And finally, I just spent the last forty minutes practicing the violin, which I have neglected in the last year because I didn’t have Orchestra last year. Now I do. Now I realize that I suck. Um. Yeah. Oh, and I also signed up for All-Catholic Orchestra Try-Outs. What is that? Death, my friends. Death.

On top of everything else, I’m still working on The Manigoldo. Not fast enough for Dana’s tastes (lol) but good enough for mine. I’m REALLY proud of this story. I’ve never done well with developing characters; I think this is my best attempt yet. If this doesn’t get published, I don’t think anything else I write ever will.

MY HANDS HURT D:

I want brownies.

I survived. The first day of school, no matter what grade level, has always been a challenge for me. As a senior, its my last year and I’m lovin’ that. But getting out of the summer haze of doing nothing is hard. I spent most of yesterday wondering where I was and then I started to think I was back in junior year. XD

I hardly have any books, so yay! Only two textbooks. FTW!

My teachers are rather…interesting this year. I won’t say names, but if you go to my school you’ll know who they are. Lolz.

Read the rest of this entry »

Well, I’ve discovered that Chris has 6th lunch, so thankfully, I’ve solved that delemmia. XD No emo-loner-time for me!

My next task is trying to figure out what to do during that long 90 minute session of lunch and study hall. :\ Sure, homework and talking to Chris, but srsly. Wtf. This is even more absurd than my free eighth last year.

Possibilities:

• Study/teach myself Japanese (hey, i have my own class! O:)
• Go to the library to work on The Manigoldo (or just write in a notebook lol).
• Do homework, which is probably a constant, lol.
• Draw, but not likely.

LOL idk.

And hey, I finally finished a chapter of Second Chances! XDXD LOL! Win!

Also, I’m 2/3 done Stephenie Meyer’s Breaking Dawn. Um. Congrats, Bella. You’ve crossed over to a whole new level of Mary-Suedom. o_o Srsly. Wtf.

School starts in like 2 weeks. Not even. Ahhhhh.

My roster has been fudged up, yet again, courteousy of the retards in control of the academic affairs office. X_X

1. French 4 (track 1)
2. Religion 4 (track 1) - with Sr. Eileen. OSHNAPGONNADIE.
3. Media
4. Orchestra
5. AP English Literature (AP = advanced placement/college-level course)
6. lunch
7. study hall
8. Pre-Calc (track 1)

Yeah. So I have four joke-classes and four serious ones. LOL. IRONY. Its enough to get me graduated and enough to get into Temple, so whatev. I have 90 mins of nothing from 6th to 7th. XD God, that’s going to get boring quick. And I wanted to down-track in pre-calc, but looks like I’m stuck with first. Again. Drats.

And they’re spaced so nicely, too. Hard, hard, easy, easy, hard, easy, easy, hard. LOL. XDXD Niiiice.

My only prayer is that someone i know has 6th lunch too. I had to fight for that as it is. KELLY. CHRIS. JOHN. SOMEONE. PLEEEEEEEASE.

And oh! Otakon was a bust. XD Too many people + lack of common sense = hell. Never again. Sorry, people, but never again. Ever.

Oh well. I’m now obsessed over Brigadoon (best. anime. ever.) and I’m doing my best to work on Manigoldo. XD Keep me going, Dana! Writer’s block is a frequent ailment of mine!!!

Time to prep for school. BRING IT!

Edit: John does not have my lunch. He has 3rd. D: MY LIFE FAILS.
Edit: Mary has 5th.
Edit: Kelly has 3rd.
Edit: Pat has 6th. GODDAMNIT.
Edit: Chris has 6th. THANK YOU LORDDDDDDD! XD

Okay, I’m done.